


the tools in the tool box

by northern



Series: where you can always find me [6]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Jealousy, M/M, Manipulative Will, Post-Fall (Hannibal), mentions of puppy play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 19:03:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7695784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/northern/pseuds/northern
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A conversation in the kitchen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the tools in the tool box

**Author's Note:**

> Start with part one of the series, or this won't make much sense.
> 
> Thank you Elizaria and Damnslippyplanet!

"When you said I reminded you of dogs you'd had," Hannibal asks when they've put the groceries away, "were these dogs, in fact, canine, or were they human?" The thought had appeared quite suddenly and now he can't shake the suspicion that what he and Will are doing has been done before, by Will and someone else.

"Oh! Well, they were dogs," Will says slightly uninformatively. "Except for Jessie. There was Jessie."

"And this… Jessie." Hannibal already dislikes the name. It sounds too diminutive. "She was your dog in the alternative sense?"

"That was completely different, though. Not at all like what you and I are doing."

"In what way was it different?"

"Well, for one thing, it was a real relationship."

Hannibal's expression must be doing something, because Will's face falls almost immediately. "I mean, it was a sexual relationship."

Something deep and unpleasantly cold turns over inside Hannibal. He has promised both himself and Will that he won't try to do anything irrevocable to him again, but there are times he regrets it.

"I see," he says. "If you would excuse me." He doesn't wait for Will's reply, if one is even possible after that, but walks toward the kitchen, his eyes closing for a moment as soon as he is out of Will's field of vision.

Will doesn't view what they have as a real relationship. Their interaction is not sexual, no matter how much Hannibal wishes it to be, and so, to Will it's worth less than what he had with Molly, with _Jessie_.

He gets out the kitchen knives and the steel rod for sharpening, for the comfort of a physical activity. After putting a linen towel down he starts going through the knives lined up on the table, one after one. It's almost an adequate distraction. Still, he can't keep himself from thinking about what Will might have done with his girlfriend. Had he held his little bitch down by the scruff of her neck and fucked her as she yipped and whined? Had he gagged her, to make sure no human words slipped out by mistake? Had he told her oh so gently what a good girl she was?

Hannibal immediately wants to erase Jessie from the face of the earth, make it so that she never existed. That way Will can never think of Hannibal and wonder about Jessie at the same time, that if she enjoyed this maybe Hannibal will too. Except it most likely won't occur to him, because theirs was a real relationship, probably complete with special smiles in public about their little outré secret.

Hannibal and Will are not like that. They can smile in public about other secrets if called for (Will's smile never does look natural) but the intimacy of taking a life together apparently does not count for as much as sex to Will.

There must be a way to find out where this Jessie lives now. He'd taken a few basic notes about Will's past while they were in therapy — where he'd lived and gone to school, a few of the temporary jobs he'd held — but they were all burned, some of them by Will himself, years ago. But Will's neglected Facebook account should still be there, even if he's left it without activity after their 'death', and it might serve a purpose. He should be able to go through Will's contacts there and see if he can't find her. Unless they parted on bad terms.

"Hannibal."

Hannibal looks up from his knives to see Will standing in the doorway to the kitchen, a wary expression on his face. Good. He should do well to keep in mind that a man in his kitchen is not to be trifled with.

"I didn't mean that," Will says. "I wasn't thinking and I hurt you."

It's a perfectly fine apology. Things that slip out like that are hardly ever insincere, though. Will might not have said it had he thought about it longer, but he would likely have thought it. Hannibal switches to the smaller fish knife, inspecting the edge before he starts in on it.

"I'm not used to comparing our relationship with others," Will continues.

"As well you shouldn't," Hannibal says to the rhythmical sound of steel on steel. "You should set it apart from all others, miles and miles apart from what we share. At most they should be dust motes, barely visible as they dance by in the wind."

"And they are," Will says, slowly walking up to the table. He glances at Hannibal as if for permission before he sits down. "I don't often think about other people I've had in my life. Not even Molly. We have placed ourselves outside of the world."

"Yet you thought about Jessie. Extensively, it seems."

Will sighs. "I thought about Jessie because it was hardly avoidable, given the similarities of our recent development to my relationship with her."

"Not similar enough for you, though."

Will closes his eyes and sighs. "I didn't mean our relationship isn't important to me. It's just of a different kind than what I've had before."

Hannibal puts the knife down. They are all more than sharp enough. "Do you imagine I would deny you anything, Will?" he asks. "Have I not shown you my willingness to bend myself to your demands? I would do more, if you asked it of me."

"I might enjoy your vulnerability, but I have my limits," Will says, something intense in his voice. "I'm not going to… I like my sexual partners to be willing participants."

Stubborn boy. "I am willing. I am telling you."

Will looks at him with hardly any change of expression. "I don't mean willing to lie down and suffer. Not for that. That's not something I can do, Hannibal. Don't ask it of me, please."

Hannibal folds his hands in front of him on the table, mostly to stop himself from picking up one of the knives again. "I see that you refuse to give me any leeway at all," he says. "Very well. There would be no unwillingness. I would welcome any sexual advances. I would enjoy being intimate with you in any way you choose. There would be no suffering on my part unless you choose to inflict it, and if so, I would welcome that as well."

Will stares at him, his eyes narrowing. "I…" he starts. "Are you sure?"

That is not a desired response at all. Has Will simply let their conversation play out, with no intention of following through on any implied conclusions? "You seem immensely invested in my lack of attraction to you. Does it make you feel safe, to limit me in that way?"

"No," Will says, shaking his head in exaggerated negation, "no, of course not."

Is he even consciously attracted to men? "Tell me," Hannibal says, leaning forward over the knives on the table, "have you ever had a male lover?"

"Yes," Will replies quickly, apparently relieved to dodge that bullet. "I had a boyfriend in college." Then he seems to gather himself. "You don't need to intimidate me. I was just surprised. I was just so convinced you would never feel the need for that with me."

"How so?" Hannibal asks, although with Will's phrasing he can guess the origin of that thought.

Will shrugs. "I've never seen you use sex as anything but a tool. I assumed that I was already bound to you in enough ways for you to be satisfied. You didn't need to offer me that as well."

Hannibal has used sex as a lever several times in his life. Will is not wrong in that assumption.

"Although the sort of thing we've been doing can be similar in intimacy," Will continues, "and I'm fairly sure you planned to use that as a tool at first. I don't think you actually managed to implement it with the parameters I gave you, though."

Hannibal leans back again and purses his lips. "One could argue that you are holding that particular tool box instead."

Will grins suddenly. "You've found me out."

"So I may not tinker with our relationship, but you are fully in your right?"

"You have a point." Will quirks his mouth. "I'm simply choosing to disregard it for the time being. My own point is this: I don't want you to tick boxes for me. It's Tuesday, so I need to fuck Will to keep him happy, that kind of thing, that kind of chore."

"I wouldn't," Hannibal said. "Not with you." He would, at the very least, try his best not to.

"I just want to make sure of it," Will says. He doesn't sound wholly convinced.

Hannibal starts going through the knives, wiping them with the linen towel although there will hardly be anything to wipe away. The proper order of things is reassuring, though. "Then use your tool box. I'm sure there are ways."

"Let me think about it."


End file.
